What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 18.06.2025 02:57
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
I think the readers, may guess!
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Have you experimented with bestiality?
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
What caused the Democratic Party's 2024 presidential campaign to implode so horrifically?
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
He knew the spot.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
My life is so biszare .
Why do doctors refuse HRT to menopausal women but hand them out to trans people?
One cannot live in the past .
We were not on the streets..
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
What is the reason for The Acolyte (2024 series) having poor reception among Star Wars fans?
This is how, and why children get BPD.
I could never make a relationship work though!
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Isn't it a turn on to have sex with a girl in a skirt or in a tight spandex?
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
All the time i was locked up.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
We all went to grammer schools
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
She was in good health!
Why did i forgive my father ?
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Why am I not getting any atheists to debate with? Are they scared?
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I waited trembling.
As i do to all so called friends.?
I don,t even have a pension.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
On the 31st of Jan this month .
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Put me off passion for life!!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
What did i know ?
I know ,a lot about trauma.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
So, i spoilt her more .
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Was to survive, this bastard.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
So whats the point in blame.
I never cut or harmed myself..
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Ive learnt so much.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
I was scared of men, in general
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I said to her
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
I couldn’t, believe it.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
I will be 64.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
He resisted the act ,that day.
She found it foreign!.
This is soul school!.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
When she asked me how she looked .
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Im still living with it.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Comes on , in middle age.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
She wouldn,t have been !
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
She loved him until the end.
And i lived it daily.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
(And it was in our own minds.)
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
I was very sick at this time too.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
They are buried together, in the same grave..
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Who then, do I blame.?
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I write beautiful poetry .
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Especially a lifetime of it.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
She married twice! .
But it wasn’t much.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
But ive been too sick for many years..
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
But, we were locked up after school.
Would this be the day?
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
I was 9 years of age.
I was seconnd youngest,
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
My family never makes their pension either.
It was going to be , some day.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I have no regrets .
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other